Instead of three separate scrutinies, we had all three of them on one day. We were crossed everywhere, eyes, heart, ears, hands, feet. Then Father gave us this cross, to remind us that we are, from now on, always children of God. It makes my fingers tingle when I touch it. I wish I could wear it all the time.
After that, we were prayed over, then prayed over some more. My friend said that she saw our saints with us, even the saint of our sponsors. I don’t remember the prayers but I remember they were beautiful, and it felt like a huge lump of anxiety or unease was relieved, like a weight had been lifted, when we were done. It was like I could see better, hear a little better.
Since then I’ve felt it in the rest of my life. Something has fundamentally changed. We are sealed to be God’s now – nothing evil can touch us. I listen to Christian songs on the radio and I understand what they’re really about now. I feel more patient, less self-centered. It’s hard to explain but it just seems like I get God more now than before mass on Sunday.
It is the strangest feeling ever. I know I could not have done this on my own, so it must be the holy work of God. I’m sort of having issues with him right now, but I can still tell something is hugely different inside of me.
This week and next week are full of the regular schedule, but everything changes the week after that – Holy Week.
Here we go.