Heart Shaped Stone

a one year old baby Catholic with a Rosary and she's not afraid to use it

Eight weeks and three days. June 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kortni @ 8:03 pm

Today, I am eight weeks and three days old.

I’m starting to pull up and stand on my own, says my Father. I try to walk, but I fall down, and that hurts. It upsets me. It’s embarrassing.

So I stopped pulling up for a while. I just crawl. I’m still crawling.

I’m starting to want to walk again.

I’ve been very self centered in my life. I’m protective of my “me” time. I like being by myself, doing what I want to do. My day has always been about me, what I’m going to do, and how I’m going to feel at the end of it. Anything involving my faith is usually on the receptive end of things – soaking it up, learning, reading, experiencing, taking in the breathtaking view of the sky.

And when I fall down, I tend to retreat into that “me” space, except usually with less God and more seclusion.

After two months, this is starting to get a little…unexciting. Not that I don’t love taking walks and looking up at the stars at night. But…that can’t be all there is.

And then this song came on my CD player in the car.

My Daddy tapped me on the head and told me to listen. These verses grabbed me, hard.

Jason Gray – Better Way to Live (video)

How long have you been dreaming
Of a life bigger than the one you lead
Your hurt has left you guarded
But hope is tugging at your sleeve
You were meant for something more…

All I know is there’s a better way to live
We were made for so much more than this
It’s not the love you have but the love you have to give
All I know is there’s a better way to live

All my life looking in the mirror
Praying for the will and wings to fly
But when I saw the world out my window
With a broken heart I came alive
I was made for something more…

When we step aside
From the center of our lives
When we learn to love mercy
More than being right
Pursuing peace and honesty
Starting down the road of selflessness
And seeing where it leads

I got to thinking. If Jesus came back tomorrow and asked me to be part of his millennial kingdom, what role would I play?

He has bathed me in His love. Soaking it up is wonderful, but it gets boring after a while. There’s more to it than that. Something way more fulfilling.

What can I do, Lord?

My day should be a full-fledged adventure about living out the love I have to give.

My Father made me to do more than just exist.


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