Heart Shaped Stone

a one year old baby Catholic with a Rosary and she's not afraid to use it

my story March 14, 2011

How I found God, the ADD edition:

2004 to 2007 – Go to college at a very conservative religious school.  Take classes on the Bible and Christian values. Spend a lot of time in chapel where speakers talk about the syntax of the Bible and the apparent implication of word choice on personal salvation. Sleep through a lot because it’s boring and irrelevant. What I learned: God is distant, and you have to be smart enough to read between the lines in the Bible to find him.  God loves people who talk about him, but looks down on people who don’t know him, are abused, suffer from depression, and are in any way different from people who put on a show about how much they love God.

2007-2008 – Decide that Christian faiths are misogynistic and controlling.  Explore a whole bunch of different religions.  Unknowingly invite in dark things and live in a haunted dorm room for a while. Get chased down the hall from the showers in a towel by something shadowy.  (You can’t make this stuff up.)  Chalk it up to the whole dorm being haunted.

2009 – Move into apartments, hopefully not haunted.  Discover things going missing and doors getting locked of their own accord, among other crazy things you’d have to see to believe.  Blame roommate instead, cause huge drama and then some. (I could tell you stories that would cause the hair on the back of your neck to stand up — but I’m not ready to talk about it.) Get invited to sit in on Catholic society meetings with friends on campus.  Get first rosary, learn to pray it, go to Mass a couple times.  Love it. Drop out of student teaching after much prayer and with a complete peace that could only come from God.  He saves me from myself.  Weird things stop happening.  What I learned: Evil exists and God exists, and they are both very, very real.  God wins.  I want to be on his side.  He loves me.

2010 – Watch God open up a way to graduate from college anyway. Start really reading the Bible and digging into it. Try to find a church home.  Get led to an amazing job and start RCIA.

2011 – Baptized and confirmed at the Easter Vigil. A newborn in Christ. My life is completely brand new. I am home.


2 Responses to “my story”

  1. I love that statement “Decide that Christian faiths are misogynistic and controlling.” I am a spiritual director who works with moms/women who were raised by “Good Catholic” parents who followed a a “catholic” church that was misogynistic and controlling and now are working very hard to see God/Faith/Life as the wonderful gift it truly is!

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